Letter II
[Reprinted from The Path (New York), January 1896, pp. 299-300.]
Wurzburg, December (something), 1885.
My Dear Conspirator: (1) --- Glad to receive from your letter such an emanation of true holiness. I too wanted to write to you; tried several times and - failed. Now I can. The dear Countess Wachtmeister is with me, and copies for me, and does what she can in helping, and the first five minutes I have of freedom I utilize them by answering your letter. Now, as you know, I also am occupied with my book. It took possession of me (the epidemic of writing) and crept on "with the silent influence of the itch," as Olcott elegantly expresses it - until it reached the fingers of my right hand, got possession of my brain - carried me off completely into the region of the occult. (2) I have written in a fortnight more than 200 pages (of the Isis shape and size). I write day and night, and now feel sure that my Secret Doctrine shall be finished this - no, not this - year, but the next. I have refused your help, I have refused Sinnett’s help and that of everyone else. I did not feel like writing - now I do. I am permitted to give out for each chapter a page out of the Book of Dzyan - the oldest document in the world, of that I am sure - and to comment upon and explain its symbology. I think really it shall be worth something, and hardly here and there a few lines of dry facts from Isis. It is a completely new work.
My "satellite," (3) I do not need him. He is plunged to his neck in the fascinations of Elberfeld, and is flirting in the regular style with the Gebhardt family. They are dear people and are very kind to him. The "darling Mrs. Oakley" has shown herself a brick - unless done to attract attention and as a coup d’etat in the bonnet business. But I shall not slander on mere speculation; I do not think she has acted courageously and honorably; I send you the Pall Mall to read and to return if you please; take care of the paper. . . .
Thanks for the photo. Shall I send a like one to your "darling"? She is mad with me however. Had a letter from Rodha; she swears she never said to "Darling" or the he Darling either, that I had "abused them to the Hindus."
To have never existed, good friend, is assuredly better. But once we do exist we must not do as the Servian soldiers did before the invincible Bulgarians or our bad Karma, we must not desert the post of honor entrusted to us. A room may be always had at Wurzburg; but shall you find yourself contented for a long time with it? Now the Countess is with me, and I could not offer you anything like a bed, since we two occupy the bedroom; but even if you were here, do you think you would not go fidgeting again over your fate? Ah, do keep quiet and wait - and try to feel once in your life - and then do not come at night, as you did two nights ago, to frighten the Countess out of her wits. Now you did materialize very nearly this time, you did. (4) Quite so.
Yours in the great fear of the 1886 - nasty number.
H. P. B.
Endnotes
(1) H.P.B. used to call me in fun her "conspirator" or "confederate," because the stupidity of certain persons went so far as to accuse me of having entered into a league with her for the purpose of cheating myself. - H[artmann].
(2) This was in answer to a letter in which I complained of the irresistible impulse that caused me to write books, very much against my inclination, as I would have preferred to devote more time to "self-development." - H[artmann].
(3) Babajee.
(4) I know nothing about it. - H[artmann].
Return to Table of Contents Page for Blavatsky-Hartmann Letters