Published by Blavatsky Study Center. Online Edition copyright 2004.


Letters of H.P.B. to Dr. Hartmann

Letter IV

[Reprinted from The Path (New York), February 1896, pp. 333-335.]

[No Date.]

My Dear Doctor: --- I read your part II - and I found it excellent, except two or three words you ought to change if you care for truth, and not to let people think you have some animus yet against Olcott. (1) Such are at the end "Presidential orders" and too much assurance about "fictions." I never had "fictions," nor are Masters (as living men) any more a fiction than you and I. But this will do. Thus, I have nothing whatever against your theory, though you do make of me a sort of a tricking medium.

But this does not matter, since as I wrote to Dr. H.S. and will write to all - "Mme. Blavatsky of the T.S. is dead." I belong no more to the European Society, nor do I regret it. You, as a psychologist and a man of acute perception, must know that there are situations in this life, when mental agony, despair, disgust, outraged pride and honor, and suffering, become so intense that there are but two possible results - either death from broken heart, or ice-cold indifference and callousness. Being made to live for purposes I do not know myself - I have arrived at the latter state. The basest ingratitude from one I have loved as my own son, one whom I have shielded and protected from harm, whom I have glorified at the expense of truth and my own dignity, has thrown upon me that straw which breaks the camel’s back. (2) It is broken for the T.S. and for ever. For two or three true friends that remain I will write the S.D., and then - depart for some quiet corner to die there. You have come to the conviction that the "Masters" are "planetary spirits" - that’s good; remain in that conviction.

I wish I could hallucinate myself to the same degree. I would feel happier, and throw off from the heart the heavy load, that I have desecrated their names and Occultism by giving out its mysteries and secrets to those unworthy of either. If I could see you for a few hours, if I could talk to you; I may open your eyes, perhaps, to some truths you have never suspected. I could show you who it was (and give you proofs), who set Olcott against you, who ruined your reputation, and aroused the Hindu Fellows against you, who made me hate and despise you, till the voice of one who is the voice of God to me pronounced those words that made me change my opinion. (3)

I could discover and unveil to you secrets for your future safety and guidance. But I must see you personally for all this, and you have to see the Countess. Otherwise I cannot write. If you can come here, even for a few hours, to say good-bye to me and hear a strange tale, that will prove of benefit to many a Fellow in the future as to yourself, do so. If you cannot, I ask you on your honor to keep this private and confidential.

Ah, Doctor, Karma is a fearful thing; and the more one lives in his inner life, outside this world and in regions of pure spirituality and psychology, the less he knows human hearts. I proclaim myself in the face of all - the biggest, the most miserable, the stupidest and dullest of all women on the face of the earth. I have been true to all. I have tried to do good to all. I have sacrificed myself for all and a whole nation - and I am and feel as though caught in a circle of flaming coals, surrounded on all sides like an unfortunate fly with torn-off wings - by treachery, hatred, malice, cruelty, lies; by all the iniquities of human nature, and I can see wherever I turn - but one thing - a big, stupid, trusting fool - "H.P.B." - surrounded by a thick crowd circling her (4) of traitors, fiends and tigers in human shape.

Good-bye, if I do not see you, for I will write no more. Thanks for what you have done for me. Thanks, and may you and your dear, kind sister be happy.

Yours,
H. P. B.

Endnotes

(1)  This refers to my Report of Observations at the Headquarters at Adyar.

(2)  Babajee, whose Brahmanical conceit caused him to turn against H.P.B. when he became convinced that he could not make her a tool for the propaganda of his creed. - H[artmann].

(3)  This explains the letter printed in the notorious book of V. S. Solovyoff, page 124. The intrigue was acted by Babajee, who, while professing great friendship for me, acted as a traitor and spy. - H[artmann].

(4) The crowd alluded to is the same Brahmano-Jesuitical army which has now ensnared certain well-meaning but short-sighted "leaders" of the European Section T.S. - H[artmann].

(Go to Letter V.)

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